Curse

GloryFox · Jul 15, 2006, 09:37 PM // 21:37

It’s interesting what passes for fun these days. If people had their way on these forums the GW class options would be the following.

TANK (no longer called a Warrior)
Tanks can only take 1% of the total damage of whatever hit them. They are immune to all Hexes and Enchants on them always last 20% longer. Any weapon I use does maximum damge and I Crit 90% of the time unless I Rage Quit.

NUKER (no longer called Elementalist)
All other spells are now Fire Spells with 50% armor penetration and all spells have Maximum damage bypassing all or any armor. All Fire spells do knockdown and hit multiple times over a 30 second period. Furthermore all Fire spells cause burning for the duration of this spell plus 30 seconds.

HEXOR (no longer called Mesmer)
My Hexes kill anything in 3 seconds or less and last 10 minutes each time I cast one. I also get +6 pips of energy regeneration instead of 4 like other noob classes. If I want to join a group I get to whether you want me too or not. After all I am noble and all and everyone should bow before my supirior birth.

MINION MASTER (no longer called Necromancer)
I can control as many undead as can be created. NO LIMITS; My undead followers never tire until they die in combat and it should be possible to lead an army of over 100 20th level bone minions to kill that level 6 Charr who flipped me off.

DEATH DEALER (no longer called an Assassin)
Touch of Death is an innate ability. I should be able to with a touch kill anything I try to kill. This skill has a ¾ second recharge rate and cost only 5 mana. I also get 5 mana back for any foe I kill in this way.

SUMMONER (no longer called a Ritualist)
My summoned creatures are immune to damage from all types and can bleed, poison, blind, cripple, deep wound, set on fire, knockdown for 4! Seconds, Collect my gold for me after a farm run.

PERSONAL MACHINE GUNNER (no longer called a Ranger)
My bowshots attack everything I can see and have unlimited range. My pets always carry a satchel that explodes; does 500 damage; to everything in the surrounding area when killed by my enemies or not. After all pets were always meant to be sacrificed in this way.

DWANA INCARNATE (no longer called Monk)
My healing spells can remove any hex or condition when cast on target ally. They also bring target ally to maximum health. All of my spells cost 3 mana to use and my divine skills also grants me extra mana in addition to adding more health to any heal spell I cast. My mere presence grants regeneration 10 to all allies because I am 1337 and you are in my presence.

Thank You ANET for being wiser then others on this forum.

silyrinth · Jul 16, 2006, 02:47 AM // 02:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by GloryFox

DWAYNA INCARNATE (no longer called Monk)
My healing spells can remove any hex or condition when cast on target ally. They also bring target ally to maximum health. All of my spells cost 3 mana to use and my divine skills also grants me extra mana in addition to adding more health to any heal spell I cast. My mere presence grants regeneration 10 to all allies because I am 1337 and you are in my presence.

I'd just be happy if my mere presence granted at least semi-competance.

Calan The Powerful · Jul 16, 2006, 03:02 AM // 03:02

ok weird was that a rant or a statement

fiery · Jul 16, 2006, 03:05 AM // 03:05

No... it's The Absurd by being Absurd.

Brewmaster · Jul 16, 2006, 03:14 AM // 03:14

Being absurd by being absurd would be like you would scream yourself to sleep at night while attemting to armwrestle a small child whom you fond in the middle of a cow pasture, lactating on the beans of incredible oaken fih of yore, who, having learned the greatest of all martial arts techniques, began lifting tortoises into the sky in an attempt to block the sunshine from all the good boys and girls who eat their weight in hair everyday in an attempt to learn the finer points of greenhouse lawn squirrel bowling from the original Oakland Raiders while time traveling in their fanciful, yet stylish Winnebago from beyond the lefting house of furtherly unexplored crab apples eccentrics, for which the global ape tit stock market is suffering in the pool of enternal, yet limited filth that is Meat Monster Inc...at least, thats my take on absurd...

~Brew~

Mesmer in Need · Jul 16, 2006, 03:25 AM // 03:25

if this was true, you would only need one character per team. /signed

unholy guardian · Jul 16, 2006, 03:59 AM // 03:59

my kinda thread lol :P still was kinda cool to read

Goats17 · Jul 16, 2006, 06:24 AM // 06:24

Can this be implemented?

/signed, I want to play a TANK.

Opeth11 · Jul 16, 2006, 06:25 AM // 06:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goats17

Can this be implemented?

/signed, I want to play a TANK.

No, you want to play a RITUALIST with me!

Get your slacking butt back online!

..wish this computer could run Guild Wars, then I would be verbally abusing you in-game o.o